Misery loves company

Part of my goal for quitting my job was to get to know my neighbors and acquaintances better and to spend time with family and friends.  Over these past few months, I have been learning a lot about people around me – and I am learning it is not always that positive.  I am realizing that some people, no matter how good they have it, will find ways to look for the negative side of things and then blow it up and impose it on others.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not a new revelation for me.  I have known and studied many people like this over the years, but when it hits close to home, being someone not too far removed from my immediate family, it still surprises me.

I just happen to have the opposite personality.  I almost always look for the good in every situation and if something happens I don’t approve of or I disagree with, I either let it go and go on about my day or I try to voice my feelings in a non-condemning way and then move on with life.  It is obvious that some people go through their day looking and waiting for something to latch onto that they can put a nasty spin on and then blast it out to anyone and everyone they can reach.  Why?  I don’t understand it.  I get it, but I still don’t understand it.

I went to bed thinking about this last night and woke this morning with this idiom, “Misery loves company,” stuck in my head.  Unfortunately, it is true that unhappy people like other people to be unhappy too.  I suppose the opposite can be said about happy people as well.  By nature, I am a happy person and I want other people to be happy too.

Admittedly, I am Pollyannaish (someone who seems always to be able to find something to be “glad” about no matter what circumstances arise – from the best-selling 1913 novel Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter), this does not mean I am naïve.  I am fully aware there are many people in bad situations right now.  I know we are in the middle of a terrible economic state, we are fighting wars in which it is debatable as to whether we should be engaged in, people are losing their jobs, homes, cars, illness and obesity is on the rise… Yes, there is a lot of sadness, death, destruction and devastation in the world – I know that.   I also know that even at the lowest times, a negative attitude will only make things worse and a positive attitude can only help make things better or at the very least, tolerable.  I have been without a job, I have been at a point where I could barely feed and clothe my daughter and barely had a place to live.  I have had a car repossessed, my electricity shut off, all my money taken – I have been there.  In each situation, I had to make a choice to stay positive and find a way out of it, or be bitter and wallow around in the self-pity.  I chose happiness.  I chose to look for the good.  Even today, when things are good for me, I choose to look for the lesson in each situation and grow and learn from it.  I choose to help other people find happiness and I absolutely refuse to bring others down or associate with those that try to bring me down.

If you are that person who is spiteful and imposes your anger and frustrations out on others, let me ask you – Why?  What good is it doing you?  Do you know it is making you look bad?  Do you realize how shallow and petty you appear to others?  Do you know that others feel sorry for you when you do mean and hurtful things?  Do you know that you are creating your own misery?  Do you know that you are alienating your family and friends?  Ask yourself why you choose to be unhappy as well as impose your unhappiness on others, and then take a long hard look at yourself.  Are things that bad in your world?  Have you seen Iran lately?  Maybe you should watch those Feed the Children commercials a few times.  How about volunteering some time to work at a homeless shelter or public food kitchen?  You need to get out of yourself and see that things are not all that bad.  No matter how bad it seems right now, things will ALWAYS get better.  It is the natural cycle of life.  We have difficult times and we have prosperous times.  Each low has a high.  I believe we must experience the lows so we can appreciate the highs.  I enjoy the highs so much that I strive to find the high in every day.  It is there – and always will be.

Please don’t be the Debbie Downer in your circle of family and friends.  Be the ray of light that builds people up and gives them hope.  Find peace and joy in every stage in your life.  Appreciate the moments of joy and accept sadness and defeat as a natural part of life.  Refrain from forcing ill will upon others.  Look for the good in every situation.  Step away from the negative media and influences in your life and try reading something positive – and may I suggest you start with reading Pollyanna.

Tags: attitude, happiness, happy, hope, joy, motivation, Pollyanna, positive, volunteering

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