When the going gets tough, what do you do?

We have all heard the saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” right? It is one of those sayings people spit out with gusto and sometimes accompanied by a little fist pounding for a little added gusto.  Truth is though; most people either run or give up when the going gets tough.

Question for you – When the going gets tough, what do you do?

a)      Gear up and get tough

b)      Run like the wind

c)       Curl up in the fetal position and suck your thumb

It is important to identify your natural inclination when it comes to facing the tough times.  If you are a runner or one that gives up, now is the time to change and here is why… If you run, there is a distinct possibility ‘it’ will follow you AND as it follows, it may get bigger and pick up speed.  Think of it as a great big snowball.  As you are running away, it rolls along behind you picking up more snow as it goes.  The additional snow makes it bigger and heavier until it is looming over you casting a shadow on the path in front of you.  You cannot keep running forever and eventually you will have to stop.  The snowball will not stop though and you will become a body impression in the frozen tundra as the giant snowball smacks you in the rear and runs you over.  Do you want to be a frozen snowball casualty?  I hope not!

How about those who give up?  Imagine, there you are – facing a crisis and like a little kid in Wal-Mart not getting their way, you plop yourself down on the floor and begin to wail uncontrollably.  You create your own personal little Pity Party located in the land of Denial.  Denial is a terrible dark place where many people have been known to get lost for years.  While in the land of Denial, you are free to bang your head against the wall with reckless abandon or sit in the corner and pretend everything is all right.  However, on the outskirts of Denial is the city of Reality.  It can also be a harsh place, but the truth is that if you face the harsh elements for just a short time, the sun always comes out and things will get better.

Now, let’s talk about how to fight with the intent to win.  The first thing I think we all need to realize and remember is that there will be crisis in your life.  Nobody is immune to times of trouble.  Even that perfect family down the street or that co-worker who appears to have a magic wand that makes everything okay has troubles.  It is in how we deal with troubles that sets us apart.  Let’s be fighters.

First step to fighting crisis is to acknowledge it.  Look at crisis as a big fat ugly bully.  We all know that the best way to deal with a bully is to stand up to him or her.  I suggest you find a private remote location, double up your fists as if you are about to punch someone in the jaw and scream this at the top of your lungs, “I am mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”  You have just set the boundary.  In that one sentence you acknowledged the situation, you acknowledged the anger associated with it, you stated that you have had enough and that things are going to change.  The next step is to make the change – and this is where the work/fight comes in.

In order for you to make a change, you first need to identify the problem.  Before moving on, take some time to identify one particular area in your life that you are either running from or in denial about.  This may be easy for some as you have reached the ‘mad as hell’ stage and you are ready to make that change.  For some, this may take a little more time thinking it through and digging deep.  Go ahead, take some time and do that now….

Once you have identified that particular area you are ready to face, write it down.  Write down in detail what ‘it’ is.  Be specific and be sure to write down how it makes you feel and how it has affected your life.  This is the “dump” step.   This is your opportunity to get it all out quickly and completely.  I suggest writing it out without regard to grammar or spelling or you can even say it into a recorder.  Whatever method suits you – get it out and put emotion behind it!  Often times, just in identifying the problem and acknowledging it will remove a big weight off you.  Think of that snowball casting a shadow over you.  Once you turn and face that snowball, it will begin to melt.  The built up layers begin to shed away and that once huge and ominous problem begins to seem smaller and more manageable.

It is now time to make a plan on how to deal with the situation.  A good strategy here is to make a list of action steps that you can follow, one by one, to address to situation.  By having clearly defined action steps, you make the process more manageable by dealing with bite-size pieces versus trying to eat the whole pie at once.  An action plan is worthless if you do not put action to it – so get busy and start working the plan.  As you are working through the steps, remember, plans can change so be flexible.  You may have to step back, reevaluate the situation and approach things a little differently from time to time.

As you continue to work through dealing with tough situations, make sure you ask for help or call upon a professional if needed.  There may be times when a problem is too big for you to deal with alone.  It takes a strong person to ask for help and I KNOW you are strong enough to know when to reach out!

My last bit of advice here – Face your problems head on from now on.  You are strong, you are capable and there is nothing you cannot do!