Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which you were not getting what you need or want out of the relationship?  Maybe this has happened in a personal relationship, with your best friend, or even a co-worker or boss.  No matter the other parties involved, the feelings you experience are usually the same.  You begin to feel like the other person does not care about you or that you do not matter.  You then begin to feel sorry for yourself until that feeling of sadness begins to fester and become bitterness.  Then you blow-up.  It is never pretty when festering bitterness explodes.  Oftentimes the other party is dumbfounded and confused and according to human nature, they defend themselves.  Now it becomes a back and forth argument switching roles between victim and attacker.

We women tend to have the hardest time asking for what we want.  We expect others should already know what we want or need and if we have told the other party what we want at least once in their lifetime, they should forevermore commit it to memory, always do it, and never forget.  Life is not that simple.  People are not that perfect.  Our fragile egos need to understand that and be proactive.

There is a fine line between asking and nagging.  There is also a fine line between being responsive and regressive.  We need to ask for what we want and if we do not receive it within a timely manner, we need to ask again and explain why it is important the need be met.  There is responsibility on the part of the other party to confirm they can or will meet the need and if they confirm, then they own it and should do it.   However, this all comes down to you asking for what you want from the very beginning.  Do not expect to ask once and magically all your needs will be met.  You need to take an active role in fulfilling your own needs as well.

Write down a list of your needs, wants and desires and develop a plan and set aside time to share that list with the appropriate people in your life that can fulfill those needs.  You should also ask the other significant people in your life what they need or want from you.  While you are festering bitterness, beware that the other party may also be doing the same.  Suck it up and commit to communicate your needs going forward.