There are times in life in which we all get down.  I know there are times when I get tired and frustrated and find myself wanting to crawl back in bed for the day.  We can’t always do that, can we?  Nope.  Sometimes we have to have a little self-talk session and kick our own butt back into gear.  Recently I was running low on my energy reserves and feeling a little empty.  Just about that time, I had the opportunity to attend the annual eWomen Network Conference in Dallas, Texas.  It wasn’t a cheap offer, but it did include a two-for-one if I brought my daughter.  I could not pass that up!  So, my daughter and I attended the five-day conference – and it was the best thing we have done together in years!

This was just the thing I needed at this time in my life.  I have been struggling with finding the right direction for my life and my next steps.  This event with all the fabulous women we met and the amazing speakers we heard affirmed many of the things I already knew as well as got my brain thinking about new possibilities.

Many times, I find myself reading books or listening to speakers who say the same things I have heard repeatedly.  The reason they are all saying the same things is that the principles are sound and if you follow them, you WILL get the results you desire.  The eWomen Conference had a lot of the same stuff I have heard and have been sharing with others for years – but I have found that it is not always the message, but the messenger that makes the difference.

Lisa Nichols made that difference for me.  Lisa is a well-known public speaker and author and may be best known for her work on the DVD The Secret.  Lisa was our conference closing keynote speaker.  She is one of the most powerful speakers I have heard and her words touched my soul.  From Lisa’s conversation with us, I took away one nugget of greatness that I will hold on to for the rest of my life, which is filling your own cup happiness cup first and then use the overflow to serve others.  Think of it this way:  You have a cup on a saucer and you are going to fill that cup with tea.  The tea represents your happiness, energy, passion, or whatever else you want it to be.  You start to pour the tea into the cup and when you reach the rim of the cup, you keep pouring until it overflows into the saucer below.  This is the critical point here – the tea in the cup is YOURS and the overflow is for others.  You do not serve others from your cup.  You need to keep that cup full and you cannot dip into it to give to others.  For you to be at the top of your game or the best you can be, you have to consistently replenish your cup and IF you want to serve others you have to over-fill your cup so that you have extra to give.  This was the key take-away for me.  Often times I neglect my needs and keep giving to others.  I will then find myself tired, withdrawn and a little bitter.   I know that I know that I need to take time for my own self-improvement or development, but I needed that visual from Lisa to understand that I really, truly need to take care of my own needs first so that I can effectively help others.  I have said for a long time that we all need to find happiness with because we cannot give away what we do not have, but not only do we need to find that happiness, we need to add a little bit more so that when we give some away, it doesn’t dip into our own ‘cup of tea.’

Meeting Lisa Nichols with my daughter, Felecia

I will continue to read positive mental attitude and positive psychology books, as I know each nugget of information I learn may be just the thing I will need for myself or someone else down the road.  I will consistently fill my cup and strive for overflow so that I can continue to give to others.

Thank you to those who have reached out to me recently with kind words and affirmations.  You help fill my cup and feed my soul.  Many blessing and much happiness to you!

Do you ever feel like there is just too much to do and too many people are relying on you to get it all done? If so, it is time to set some boundaries – starting with yourself. We are the ones who say, “Yes.” We are the ones that cannot say, “No.” Many try to win approval by being the Go-to Gal or Guy.  Then privately, they beat themselves up for doing too much or for not being good enough.  Evaluate your life and commitments and ask yourself why you are trying to please everyone all the time.  Are you being the best you can be by spreading yourself too thin?  Are you known for doing a couple of things really well or are you known as the “Jack of All Trades, Master of None?”

In reality, the person who does too much and is overcommitted, (the Jacks) is the one who gets the menial tasks in a project.   Leaders pick out the Masters and assign them the high profile, mission-critical tasks.  The Masters then get the individual recognition for their contribution, while the Jacks are lumped into the All Other group and receive minimal praise.  Overall, it is not bad to be in the All Other group, unless you are in that group solely because you spread yourself too thin and could have been a Master and contributed on a much higher level.

When you are capable of being a Master and find yourself with the Jacks, you will become frustrated.  Take a long look at your commitments, decide where you can best apply your special skills and talents, and begin to focus on those one or two areas.  It will not be easy declining requests for other projects and you may even need to step down from current ones.  It will be important to explain that you recognize you have spread yourself too thin and you realize that you are not giving your best to each one.  Once you have identified those couple of areas you want to focus your efforts – give it your all.  Focus your attention, time and effort on those projects and become the Master.  You will begin to flourish and find joy when you put concentrated effort into those things at which you excel.  You may even find you begin to receive more recognition for your efforts – and although many will say that recognition should not be your goal, in reality, praise feeds and fuels the soul.  You are skilled and talented and your unique contribution deserves recognition.  Accept the praise with pride!

We all have special skills.  When those skills are honed and used effectively, they will improve the process or outcome of a project or mission.   Identify you own special skills and begin to position yourself to employ them in a way that adds the best value.  Be a Master on select projects and be a Jack only on occasion.  The boundaries you set for yourself will set you free from the frustration and guilt you carry around with you.   Resist the urge to do too much.  Become a Master!

Late the other night, my husband and I were clicking through a trail of funny and cute YouTube videos and we came across a video called the Skype Laughter Chain. Within minutes, both of us were cracking up and I even had (happy) tears streaming down my face! It is one of the happiest videos I have ever seen and I quickly added the video to the Laugh highlight on the front page of The World Needs More Happy website. Shortly after watching the video, we went to sleep and an amazing thing happened. I had one of the best night’s sleep I have had in weeks. I know this because not only did I feel more rested the next morning, but I also wear a device called a BodyBugg, which monitors my activity and sleep patterns. Today, while looking over a week of BodyBugg reports, I found that the night I laughed until I cried, I had a more sound and restful sleep than the other six nights in the week. Coincidence? Maybe.

I will be testing my “laughter induces sounder sleep” theory again as I have made a commitment to myself to laugh more every day. As I made this commitment, I realized there aren’t that many Laugh Out Loud (LOL) moments in each day and had to ask myself how I can live up to my LOL commitment.

First – I decided to lighten up and be a little more fun. I tend to be a serious person – happy, but serious. Some people think that to be a happy person you need to be in hyper-happy mode all the time, kind of like being overexcited. That is not me. I am calm, sometimes intense, and NEVER hyper. So, I need to lighten up and be a little less intense.

Second – I decided to start helping other people lighten up themselves. I have been attending quite a number of business networking gatherings lately and I noticed (and felt) a lack of levity in these meetings and in conversations with others. I know we are all there to present ourselves professionally and promote our product or services, but let us be a little less dry and staunch about it. I am much more apt to remember the presentation that is a little more on the lively side, with smiles and genuine authenticity. I often wonder if the people at these meetings acted the way they do with their friends and family, if their business would improve. By being less intense and being more like my real self while maintaining my professionalism, I think I can help lighten the mood and get others to relax a little as well.

Thirdly – I decided to find things to make me laugh. If I cannot find things to laugh at during my daily life, then I need to seek it out. I am relying on trusty YouTube for this. If you search ‘laugh’ in YouTube, you will find hundreds of funny clips. Beware – sometimes funny to one person may not be funny to you. I have been posting Laugh and Dance videos on The World Needs More Happy for months now and I watch every video all the way through to make sure some random act of ‘unkindness’ or a person or pet isn’t hurt in the video. I am fortunate that I can count my YouTube surfing as work!

I invite you to join me in my LOL commitment. I always enjoy receiving funny video clips, stories, jokes, etc. I often times post things on The World Needs More Happy that come from our members. This is our community and your input is as valuable as anyone else’s is. I look forward to hearing from you!

Many smiles and LOL moments to you!

Hi friends, you may not know me but my name is Mike Spillman, founder of Future You University and a friend of Angie’s.

Don’t think about a purple elephant.

Don’t think about a red rose.

Don’t think about being sad.

By now you have thought about all three of the things I told you not to think about. Over the next few days I can bet you will either see one or all three of these things – and hopefully it will not be a real life sad purple elephant holding a red rose in his trunk! Let me know immediately if this happens!

Now let’s do this make this exercise a little differently…

Think about winning a prize.

Think about being happy.

Think about the beach.

Could you see all three? Maybe you will now win a prize vacation to a beach resort where you will be blissfully happy! Keep me posted!

The point of this little exercise is to get you to understand the power of your thoughts and how your thoughts effect your reality. Your mind will create a vision of whatever you think about (or say) and often times what we think about is the opposite of what we want. For instance, if you say, “I don’t want to be fat,” your mind will zero in on the word “fat” and will instantly create a fat picture of yourself in your head and it will get to work on making your vision a reality. Your mind doesn’t recognize the word “don’t” – I supposed that if it did, you would end up with a fat picture of yourself with the international sign of Don’t on it – you know the one, a red circle with a line through it.

The key is to create thoughts and visions and use words that support what you “do” want. If you are fed-up with being fat, you will find much greater success in reducing your weight if you say, “I want to be thin,” or better yet, “I enjoy being healthy and fit.” If you want to improve your work environment, focus on thinking about the good things about your job, your co-workers and even your boss. Want to make more money? Focus on getting a raise instead of thinking about how poor you are or complaining about how you don’t get paid enough. The key is to focus on what you want and not on what you don’t want.

Here’s some other common things we say to others that we should change:

“Don’t fall” to “Be careful”

“Don’t get sick” to “Stay healthy”

“Don’t get lost” to “Safe travels”

“Don’t be late” to “Be on time”

The old saying is true: What you say is what you get. Your thoughts create action and your actions create results. Go through your day consistently thinking about your best healthy, wealthy and happy self and set about making it a reality!

Part of my goal for quitting my job was to get to know my neighbors and acquaintances better and to spend time with family and friends.  Over these past few months, I have been learning a lot about people around me – and I am learning it is not always that positive.  I am realizing that some people, no matter how good they have it, will find ways to look for the negative side of things and then blow it up and impose it on others.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not a new revelation for me.  I have known and studied many people like this over the years, but when it hits close to home, being someone not too far removed from my immediate family, it still surprises me.

I just happen to have the opposite personality.  I almost always look for the good in every situation and if something happens I don’t approve of or I disagree with, I either let it go and go on about my day or I try to voice my feelings in a non-condemning way and then move on with life.  It is obvious that some people go through their day looking and waiting for something to latch onto that they can put a nasty spin on and then blast it out to anyone and everyone they can reach.  Why?  I don’t understand it.  I get it, but I still don’t understand it.

I went to bed thinking about this last night and woke this morning with this idiom, “Misery loves company,” stuck in my head.  Unfortunately, it is true that unhappy people like other people to be unhappy too.  I suppose the opposite can be said about happy people as well.  By nature, I am a happy person and I want other people to be happy too.

Admittedly, I am Pollyannaish (someone who seems always to be able to find something to be “glad” about no matter what circumstances arise – from the best-selling 1913 novel Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter), this does not mean I am naïve.  I am fully aware there are many people in bad situations right now.  I know we are in the middle of a terrible economic state, we are fighting wars in which it is debatable as to whether we should be engaged in, people are losing their jobs, homes, cars, illness and obesity is on the rise… Yes, there is a lot of sadness, death, destruction and devastation in the world – I know that.   I also know that even at the lowest times, a negative attitude will only make things worse and a positive attitude can only help make things better or at the very least, tolerable.  I have been without a job, I have been at a point where I could barely feed and clothe my daughter and barely had a place to live.  I have had a car repossessed, my electricity shut off, all my money taken – I have been there.  In each situation, I had to make a choice to stay positive and find a way out of it, or be bitter and wallow around in the self-pity.  I chose happiness.  I chose to look for the good.  Even today, when things are good for me, I choose to look for the lesson in each situation and grow and learn from it.  I choose to help other people find happiness and I absolutely refuse to bring others down or associate with those that try to bring me down.

If you are that person who is spiteful and imposes your anger and frustrations out on others, let me ask you – Why?  What good is it doing you?  Do you know it is making you look bad?  Do you realize how shallow and petty you appear to others?  Do you know that others feel sorry for you when you do mean and hurtful things?  Do you know that you are creating your own misery?  Do you know that you are alienating your family and friends?  Ask yourself why you choose to be unhappy as well as impose your unhappiness on others, and then take a long hard look at yourself.  Are things that bad in your world?  Have you seen Iran lately?  Maybe you should watch those Feed the Children commercials a few times.  How about volunteering some time to work at a homeless shelter or public food kitchen?  You need to get out of yourself and see that things are not all that bad.  No matter how bad it seems right now, things will ALWAYS get better.  It is the natural cycle of life.  We have difficult times and we have prosperous times.  Each low has a high.  I believe we must experience the lows so we can appreciate the highs.  I enjoy the highs so much that I strive to find the high in every day.  It is there – and always will be.

Please don’t be the Debbie Downer in your circle of family and friends.  Be the ray of light that builds people up and gives them hope.  Find peace and joy in every stage in your life.  Appreciate the moments of joy and accept sadness and defeat as a natural part of life.  Refrain from forcing ill will upon others.  Look for the good in every situation.  Step away from the negative media and influences in your life and try reading something positive – and may I suggest you start with reading Pollyanna.

Welcome to the Happy Wednesday Broadcast…For another midweek BOOST to help make your Wednesday a “Power” Day and banish “hump” day from your life forever.

And now here are your hosts...

The Happy Wednesday Ladies, Joanie Winberg and Angie Strader

Today’s Happy Wednesday Broadcast is about making positive affirmations.

First…what is an affirmation? An affirmation is a statement designed to bring positive change in oneself or into one’s life. It should be stated AS IF the desired outcome has already occurred or is in the process of occurring, not as something that will happen in the future.

How can affirmations change your life?   Tune in and listen to the Happy Wednesday Ladies as they each share one of their favorite affirmations.

Don’t have a favorite affirmation?  Feel free to use Angie’s or Joanie’s affirmation to help you get started.

Until next week…have a Happy Wednesday!

Joanie and Angie

Did you know that boredom could reduce your level of happiness? Yep, it can. Think about it. How many times have you completed a routine task or even made it through a portion of your day only to realize you don’t remember most of it? It happens a lot, right? So, I have an assignment for you. Before going to bed tonight, write a list of five routine things you do every day that you will change for the rest of the week. It may be your route to work, the coffee you drink, your lunch spot or lunch time, or maybe even part your hair on the other side for a few days. Write down those five things before you go to bed and check them off each day you complete them. This task will require you to engage your brain more than usual thereby reducing boredom and increasing your likely hood for more happy moments in your day. Go ahead – shake things up and let me know how it goes.

PHONE A FRIEND! I had a near panic attack today with a financial investments situation.  My mind started racing and my heart was pounding out of my chest.  I picked up the phone and I called my best friend – my husband.  He calmed me down, gave me a little reassurance , we developed a game plan and then he told me some good news he had to share.  By the time we got off the phone, I was much more calm and ready to approach the situation another way.  I was then able to get to the bottom of the situation, resolve it quickly and get on with my day.  

The lesson – don’t just sit there and panic.  Talk with someone and talk yourself down!

As we go through life, we will hit hard times and we will feel pain and sadness. Because we are human, we can experience those feelings and express how we feel.  It is important to understand that even at the worst of times, the happiest among us remain happy at the core.  What distinguishes a truly happy person from another not-so-happy person is the ability the happy person has to recognize the negative situation, own the feelings he or she is experiencing and then make a conscious decision to focus on those things that bring happiness.  Essentially, that person replaces the negative feelings with ones that are positive.  Some may think that the person who is happy when they should be in despair is delusional or does not want to accept their reality.  Your reality does not have to dictate your disposition.  If you are down and out and things are looking bad, by focusing on the negative and the gloom you are not going to get yourself out of the mess you are in.  You need to focus on remaining happy, and through your positive attitude, great things will come. 

Let me ask you this:  If you see two homeless people asking for money on the side of the street and one of them is being nasty and spiteful to those passing by, the other one is smiling and cheerful, which one would you be more inclined to help?  You would feel more compelled to help the happier one because that person is sending out a positive vibe and it will make you feel better to help that person.  Now, think about yourself for a moment.  If you are going through a hard time, your attitude and perspective on life and your current state will show through.  If you are positive and upbeat, people in the position to help will be drawn to you and will be more inclined to help you and your situation.   

You may not always have control of your situation, but you do have control of your emotions.  It is possible to be in a bad situation or point in your life and still be happy.  It is up to you to look for the good in everything and commit yourself to being happy even when things get tough.