The Golden Rule (ethic of reciprocity) is a common principle in ancient Greek philosophy and states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I’m going to take a twist on this age-old rule as it relates to happiness.

Simply put – you cannot give to others what you do not have. You cannot give five dollars to someone if you do not have five dollars yourself and you really cannot share happiness with others unless you have happiness yourself. You need to obtain some degree of happiness so you know what it is, what it feels like, and how you got there and then you can do for others. Many people believe that the path to happiness is by doing for others. They believe that through giving, donating, supporting, and helping they will feel better about themselves and therefore be happy. What generally happens is that the person who searches for happiness by solely giving of their time, efforts, and resources begins to feel drained and resentful. This happens because that person did not have his or her own full happiness tank to draw from. Think about it this way… if you are driving down the road with your gas gauge approaching E and you come across a stranded driver who is completely out of gas, you cannot give that other driver much of your own gas, if any, or you yourself will now be out of gas too. If you make the decision to give the small amount of gas you have away and the other person drives off, neither one of you will make it far before you both become stranded. So, take a proactive look at this. If you had been driving down the road and made the choice to fill your gas tank before you got too low, you would have enough gas in your tank to share with the stranded driver and you could both make it to the next filling station to fill up your tanks. Do you see how this works?

It is important for you to find ways to fill your happiness tank, but many of us do not take the time to do it or maybe they do not know how. If this is the case for you, then you have work to do. You need to identify in life that which makes you happy and then do it. If you do not do it for yourself, you cannot do it for others in the long-term. First, it is important to understand what happiness is before you can achieve it. Happiness is considered a feeling of well-being or contentment and is often times confused with giddy joy or tied to a specific event or point in time. You can experience a specific event that makes you laugh and feel happy, but I want you to find those things that you can do for yourself that help you achieve a sustainable state of happiness. For me, I am happiest when I feel healthy and fit and to achieve that I choose to do physical activities like aerobics and I try to eat healthfully. I can be feeling low and depleted, but a good workout can boost my energy and top-off my happiness tank quickly. I then have the energy and the desire to do for others and then feel even more exhilarated. I also know that every few months I need to attend some sort of event or symposium with other like-minded positive and uplifting people. Those types of events are a super-charge for me and I take away reserves that I can share with others without even tapping into my own full tank. Whatever it is that fills your happiness tank – find it and do it and then, and only then, can you share it with others.

If you take the time to fill your happiness tank first and then give it to others, you will never run dry because with each good deed you will continue to add to your own happiness. Do unto yourself as you would do to others.

Please share your comments about how you fill your happiness tank.