Category

Blog

Category

It's Time for New Fitness Goals

It’s time for new Mid Year Fitness Goals! Where are you at this point in the year?

A. I’m kicking ass & crushing my goals!
B. I’m in maintenance mode & holding steady.
C. I’ve lost my mojo & don’t know where to find it.
D. I’m not into setting goals & that healthy lifestyle stuff blows!

I'm Holding Steady in Maintenance Mode

Honestly, I’ve been holding steady in B, Maintenance Mode, for some time now. I know how great I feel when I’m in A, so, I’m jumping back in by setting new Mid Year Fitness Goals for myself. It’s never too late (or early) to set new goals. It’s always right now!

Okay, so about you… are you in B, C, or D? Be honest! If you are in anything other than A, ask yourself why? What do you gain by being in anything other than A? What are you missing out on by not being in A?

What the Number on the Scale is Not

Let’s be clear about something, the number on the freakin scale does not represent fitness, health, or wellness! It does not! Repeat after me… “My weight does not represent my blood pressure, my cholesterol, my glucose level, my stamina, my sex drive, my energy, my strength, my thinking, my mood, or my worth!” Your weight is a measurement that can f*ck with your whole sense of being! I’m not saying that you should throw your scale away, and maybe it might serve you better if you did. 🤷🏼‍♀️  You get to make that decision for yourself.

Use Different Numbers

Those that set goals based on a combination of measurements will experience better health and improved quality of life. If you were to ask most people what matters most to them, their weight, or their quality of life, truly, deeply, and honestly, quality of life wins every time!   

In combination with weight, clothing size, body measurements, make a plan to regularly measure your blood pressure and blood sugar.  I use a Bluetooth blood pressure cuff that syncs to the iPhone Health app, and I check my blood sugar the old-fashioned finger prick way. I check these a few times a month just to make sure I’m staying within my healthy range.

What Would Healthy and Fit Feel Like?

What would it feel like to get more fit and healthier? Think about that for a little bit, and then write down how you’d feel. Would you carry yourself any differently? Would you dress differently? Would you take on any new hobbies? Would your social life change (when we can have a social life again <sigh>)? 

Now, drop a comment below to let me know if you are on board to commit to New Mid Year Fitness Goals with me! Will you be my A Buddy, kicking ass and crushing goals together?! I hope so! Let’s do this!

Right-click, save to your photos, and then share to your Instagram and/or Facebook story. Make sure to tag me: @angiestrader

Remember to make time for relaxation as well with these handy tips: How to Relax – My Favorite Top 5 Ways I Chill

Fortunate to Live in America

I know first hand how fortunate I am to live in America. I have traveled around the world and I lived in a country that did not have the freedom nor the opportunities that we have in this country. I have seen families living in the level of poverty most only see on the Feed the Children commercials – the ones that people turn off because they can’t take it. For four years I drove through communities that look just like that. Children rummaging through trash heaps in search of scraps of food or anything valuable they might be able to sell or trade. I saw the elderly withering away and suffering in pain because medical care wasn’t available. Not that it wasn’t affordable, it simply wasn’t available. I worked medical missions in remote villages where people lined up for hours to have medical and dental procedures performed, and we did not provide sedation or pain management. They were all grateful for showing kindness and compassion. I was part of a team that provided security for the American medical personnel and protected the medical supplies. The communist army was always nearby ready to take whatever they wanted by whatever means the deemed necessary.

Perspective Comes From Experience

My perspective comes from experience. I have traveled to communist countries where you can only drive your car on your designated days. That is if you are lucky enough to have a car because the government doesn’t allow just anyone that luxury. The same goes for owning a home or pursuing a career of their choice. For those that have these luxuries, they get to pay dearly for them. Oh, and their income, well, that really belongs to the government. Sure, most everything is taken care of for the people, but not necessarily fairly or equitably. The opportunity to move up the scales of income or status is controlled by the government, and not likely to happen unless you are part of those in government control.

Protests and Violence in Our Country

As I see protests and violence erupting all over our country, I think about what we, as a country must look like to those living in the Third World and Communist countries. I wish I could place some people in a remote village in Asia and let them see what that’s like. Oh, and for those who want more government control, go live in a communist country for a little while. Oh wait, you can’t do that because their government won’t let you. Hmmm. Okay, well, for those that want to defund the police, go live in places in  America where the police won’t even go, like parts of Chicago and now New York. When shit goes down, and it will, you get to be on your own. Fend for yourself. Where are you going to go? I bet you run back to safety where you get to bash on the police, hate on people who don’t think like you and destroy property and livelihoods. You get to do all of that because we live in a society that allows it. It’s part of who we are as a country. I don’t like everything about our countries laws and policies. I certainly don’t like most of our political leaders.  I also get to live in a free country that has an abundance of opportunities for all people.

See my post –  Choose to Look for the Good in Every Situation.

Sharables for your social media

celebrating the freedom to create my own success
celebrating the freedom to create my own success in America

Being a Courageous Parent

Being a courageous parent is always essential, and right now, our kids and our grandkids need us to set the example of, “this is what courage looks like.” Being a courageous parent requires faith, conviction, and determination. Do we have all of those qualities all of the time, probably not? Sometimes we get to act as if we do even when we don’t want to. A courageous parent shows up for their child when there’s a monster in the closet. That same courageous parent is the one who keeps a level head in front of the kiddos even when the electricity is about to get shut off. You are the parent, and you get to figure it out just like how you figured out how to get rid of the closet monsters, with a bigger-than-life attitude and the confidence that you got it all under control.

Step Up and Figure it Out

During my single mom days, I got to step up and figure it out. When I look back on it, I realize that I probably wasn’t as scared as I could have been at the time because my focus was on making everything work for my daughter and me. The solutions were much more important than the problems or obstacles. My creative problem-solving skills back then still make me proud today. Understanding the value of memories and experiences far outweighed that of any material objects at that point. The local pawn shop helped me create quite a few memories with my daughter from the material objects that I sold to them during that time. Gratefully!

What is Most Important

I have always felt that the most important thing I could do is to be a good role model and provider for my daughter. There’s no role in life that can compare to the significance of being a parent. My daughter’s most important job at that time was being a kid, going to school, and making friends.

We Want to Feel Safe

We all want to feel safe and protected. It was up to me to keep a solid foundation at home, so that my daughter felt secure. The more courageous I felt, the better my daughter did. She was looking to me – always – for signs of stress or fear. I’m sure I wasn’t a complete pillar of strength, but I can tell you that I made sure that I made things fun even in our most dire financial times.

Creating Fun Memories

One of my favorite memories from that era is creating a fun indoor picnic-like Thanksgiving dinner with my daughter on a very tight budget. She didn’t know how little I had to spend, and she didn’t need to know. The two of us went into a grocery store, and together we picked out the most random fruits, cheeses, and crackers we could find. At the time, we lived in a little rental house that had hunter green short loop industrial carpet in the living room – kind-of like grass. So, we laid a blanket out in the middle of the living room and dared each other to try the first bite of our weird assortment. We made funny faces as we tasted things, we laughed, and we created a lasting memory that did not resemble a typical holiday dinner. It was so much more and better!

Be Courageous

I encourage you to be courageous in all that you do right now. Make choices from a place of strength and knowing that everything is going to work out for you and yours. Focus on what is good and right in your world and share those things with your children. Let them see what it looks like to face difficult times while remaining positive and optimistic. I am a courageous woman. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t locked myself in the bathroom with the shower running while bawling my eyes out a time or two – or more.

Breakdowns Happen, Recover Quickly

Breakdowns happen, they are a part of life. Recovering quickly from those low moments is essential as a parent. When a breakdown occurs, the time it takes us to regain our footing is a good lesson for children. They are always watching! We all get down at times, it’s about getting up, and getting up quicker and stronger than ever before that will make the lasting impression. Like, “Wow, Mom really lost her mind, and she’s already back at taking care of business. My Mom is my Hero!” What an honor that is when you get to be your child’s hero. I bet you are already, and you may not even realize it!

Thank you for reading my thoughts on being a courageous parent. I am always open to hearing your thoughts and perspective on the topics I write about on my blog. Please share in the comments at the bottom of the page or send me message here..  Be sure to follow me on Facebook at  Angie Strader Now and Instagram and say, Hi! I appreciate you! – Angie

The first and finest lesson a parent can teach their children is faith and courage.

Share on facebook
Share on pinterest
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
courageous parent and girl standing in the grass posing like a superhero

Courageous Parenting

Being a Courageous Parent Being a courageous parent is always essential, and right now, our kids and our grandkids need us to set the example

Read More »

Food Sensitivity: I made a big diet mistake and I'm paying for it!

I made a mistake with my diet, and geez, I’m really paying for not avoiding the foods on my Food Sensitivity list! I started to write this as a quick post on Facebook. After I started writing, I realized that more people need to hear how important it is to care for their bodies properly.

As I began recovering from carbon monoxide poisoning, I wanted to make sure that I eliminated any foods from my diet that may cause a reaction. My thought was that if my body was putting any energy towards resisting inflammatory foods, it had less energy to heal. I wanted to create an ideal environment within my body so that I could heal faster.

I kind of already had an idea of which foods didn’t agree with me, but I did food sensitivity testing so that I knew for sure. As it turned out, I have a lengthy list of common foods that may trigger some adverse reactions in my body with sensitivity ranging from mild to severe.Food Sensitivity: 

Foods that I must avoid

There are a few foods that I absolutely, without a doubt, know to avoid because I feel the adverse reaction quickly. For instance, strawberries trigger a response right away. Other foods don’t necessarily show up right away and don’t appear to cause any problems.

Then, I realized that over time, inflammation builds up, causing me to feel worse and worse. I would blame external factors when I felt exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed, etc. I’d end up in bed drinking a lot of water, tea, and little else. I’d “sleep it off” and blame myself for taking on too much or frustrated because I allowed things to get to me.

How I made this big mistake

So, back to my Big Mistake. Last weekend I volunteered to help staff a Personal Mastery workshop in Arlington, TX. Personal Mastery is a 2.5-day personal growth seminar. They are long days and a lot of gratifying work.

The tight schedule requires quick meal and snack breaks. During snack breaks, I chose what I thought would be a decent food choice, peanut trail mix. They were in the little individual snack packs that I could rip open and eat quickly. My thought was that the protein from the peanuts would be beneficial. I was wrong. SO WRONG!

I knew something was wrong

When I woke up Sunday morning, I started to notice symptoms and I knew that something was wrong.  My legs down to my feet were puffy, along with my hands and my eyes. I thought it was from a lot of walking in high heels I had done the night before. After all, I don’t regularly wear heels like I used to. So, I chalked the legs and feet symptoms up to the shoes, the puffy eyes to lack of sleep. The puffy hands, well, I just wrapped it all up under fatigue.

As Sunday progressed, I consumed multiple bags of peanut trail mix – again, thinking it was a better choice than candy or chips. To flush my system, I drank bottle after bottle of water but didn’t stop to consider that I wasn’t using the restroom much. Hmmm. At one point in the afternoon, I even felt nauseous, which I thought might have been from the turkey or chicken I had lunch. That had to be it – bad food!

The symptoms of food sensitivity inflammation got worse

Monday came, and I felt even worse. When I should have been feeling happy and excited about the success of the seminar, I felt generally unwell. I was still puffy, cranky, tired, emotional – like a bad case of PMS.
I had my typical morning shake for breakfast after I drank some lemon juice with a little water. Lemon is supposed to cleanse the body and a diuretic.

As the day progressed, and I didn’t feel any better, I thought maybe a good workout would make everything better. Sixty minutes on the bike, no sweat. I mean literally, no sweat. Not a drop. Since that didn’t work, time in the infrared sauna had to work. Nope. That didn’t work either. No sweat.

I showered and laid on the couch, sleeping off and on until bedtime.

And worse!

This morning, it was worse! In addition to even more puffiness in my hands and feet, my eyes were swollen. Not puffy, they were nearly two-thirds swollen shut. One look in the mirror almost sent me into an anxiety attack. I was frustrated and angry that my body was doing this.

After resting on the couch with ice-cold tea bags on my eyes, I got up and sat at the kitchen island talking with Jake as he washed dishes. As I sat there feeling guilty for not doing the dishes the night before, I noticed half of a lemon on the counter from yesterday. My first thought was that I should drink some more lemon juice. Then it hit me – food sensitivity! I thought, is lemon one of my trigger foods?

Food sensitivity test results had the answer

I pulled up my test results on my phone, swiping past the pages on what food sensitivity tests check for and what the results mean until I got to the lists. The first list shows the highly reactive foods, a second list shows moderate sensitivity foods. Right there on the first page were peanuts. I forgot about peanuts! I don’t usually eat peanuts or peanut butter, and I had forgotten that peanuts are a trigger food. Over two days, I mindlessly consumed multiple bags of peanuts, sometimes two bags during one break!

Oh, and if peanuts weren’t enough, lemons are on my secondary list. I drank straight lemon juice three days in a row, thinking it would help me release some of the fluid retention. Umm, no! It only increased the inflammation in my body.

Healthy diet and awareness

Because I have been eating a healthy diet with a limited selection of foods, with a little awareness and an ah-moment, I quickly pinpointed the cause of the inflammation. The reaction happened so fast, too. I went from feeling fantastic and full of energy to a trainwreck within two days.

Typically, most of us don’t recognize our reactions to food. I’m educated about secondary food sensitivity, and I have a list of foods I should avoid – I still didn’t pick up on the cause of my problems.

Now I get to see how quickly my body recovers.

Learn from my diet mistakes

I hope you will learn from my diet mistakes. Please, take my advice and get tested. I could give you a link to a test that I got on Amazon, but I don’t want you to think that I wrote this so that I could make a little affiliate bonus off of it.

Our parents didn’t get instruction manuals for us when we were born, they had to do the best they could. We don’t have proper care and use manuals, either. We get to figure that out on our own – and then stick to it!

Which food sensitivity test to get

I don’t know which food sensitivity tests are better or which companies are better for this kind of testing. I did a lot of research and then picked one on Amazon with the highest number of recent positive reviews. I also read the reviews to make sure that they didn’t receive anything in exchange for their consideration.

This little health experience is another opportunity to look for the good in the situation and a reminder to appreciate myself and my health! 

Let me hear from you in the comments

Please let me know in the comments if you have done this kind of test or other others like it. If so, did you find out anything that corresponded with any symptoms you had? If you haven’t been tested yet, and decide to do one now, let me know. It helps me to know that by sharing my experiences, I am helping others.

I don’t know what my life would be like today if it weren’t for my passion for listening to the best motivational speakers in the world. At an early age, I was introduced to motivational speakers and authors through the network marketing company Amway. My parents were in Amway a short time when I was young, and then I built a thriving Amway business in the early ’90s. If you were successful in Amway, I could bet that you were on the Tape of the Week program.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”

Motivational Speakers and Authors

Not all motivational speakers are authors, but for the most part, a book does give a speaker instant credibility – and something to sell at the back of the room. When we think about motivational speakers like Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, and Les Brown, we might also recall their best-selling books. I know I have owned my share of motivational books by some of the greats. Over the past few years, I have let a lot of those books back out into the world.

Motivational Speakers on Instagram and YouTube

Today, I find that the motivational speakers on Instagram and YouTube are gaining the best traction.  Podcasting is coming in strong as well. The point is that being a successful motivational speaker isn’t just about speaking and cranking out books. You must meet the people where they are.

My Favorite Top 5 Motivational Speakers Today

Here are my favorites today and why :

Quotes By My Favorite Motivational Speakers

“It’s time to stop apologizing for who you are. It’s time to become who you were made to be.”

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they’re on the same side.

“There is no right time, there is only right now.”

“The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be just you.”

“People are chasing cash, not happiness. When you chase money, you’re going to lose. You’re just going to. Even if you get the money, you’re not going to be happy.”

I’d love to hear who you turn to for motivation! Please share a little about your favorites in the comments below. I’m looking forward to learning from you!

You can find a little bit more about me here.  This is my most popular post so far.

Do you know how rare it is to appreciate yourself and also show appreciation to others? Most people are better at the latter and avoid accepting compliments with gratitude. 

How many times in your life have you shown your appreciation to others and said something like, “you know what I like about you?” and then follow it up with a lengthy list of admirable qualities you see in them? I can’t even count the number of times I’ve told others what I like about them. I think that the ability to quickly identify admirable characteristics in others is a gift, and I enjoy honoring others. 

Appreciation provides validation

Appreciation is a powerful motivator; it provides validation and shows your gratitude. It’s part of human nature to crave recognition and appreciation. It’s not a bad thing to want credit, no matter what anyone tells you or what you may be telling yourself. It feels good to be praised for who we are or what we do. Think about how good it feels when someone points out your outstanding qualities. It feels good to be acknowledged. I know it feels great to see someone light up when I point out how awesome I think they are. 

Missed opportunities

Too often in life, I feel like people resist praise and miss opportunities to show appreciation to others. Whether it’s because we’re busy with our own lives, or if it’s because we don’t feel comfortable with that type of conversation, the moments pass and become a missed opportunity to make someone’s day.

Recognize your own greatness 

As awkward as it can be to shower others with praise, it can be even more challenging to recognize our own greatness. Many years ago, I realized that I was quick to overlook how awesome I was. After all, I was taught that it was better to appear humble than to delight in adoration. At a young age, many of us learned to play down positive feedback when, in reality, readily soaking up praise with gratitude is the equivalent of thanking someone for giving you a gift. It’s just polite to accept it and say thank you. It’s okay to smile or blush too!

To help you appreciate yourself and others, and to show your gratitude, I have an exercise for you. It’s called What I Like About You. My hope is that you do this simple activity right now and then repeat it often, especially Step 3. 

Exercise: What I like about you 

Step 1: Take out a piece of paper and write down the top 10 best qualities of your BFF or significant other. Doesn’t that feel good? Aren’t you glad you have that person in your life? I hope you share your list with him or her.

Step 2: On the flip side of that paper, write down the top 10 best qualities in YOURSELF! Was it harder to find the best in yourself? Why do you think that is? It’s time to release any programs that are preventing you from embracing your own greatness.

Step 3: Standing in front of a mirror, read each of the 10 qualities that you identified in yourself, pausing between each one to look yourself in the eyes. Yes, you are telling yourself what is incredible and unique about you! Do this part with your deepest sincerity and love. 

“What I like about you” is one of the most empowering activities I do for myself. When I catch myself in negative self-talk, I pause then take a moment to acknowledge a few of my best qualities. Being able to see the fantastic, incredible, badass warrior that I am opens me up to an abundance of grace from the world. I promise it will do the same for you too!

Always remember, you are unique, and you are loved!

For another perspective, and to back me up on how to appreciate yourself and others, check out this blog by Mel Robbins, 21 WAYS TO THINK THIS, NOT THAT

For more inspiration, read Choose to Look for the Good in Every Situation

Holy mother of God, this is already the end of another decade and the beginning of an exciting new era! Is it just me, or did this sneak up you, too? I knew it was coming, at least I thought about it a few times this year, and then BAM, it’s almost here! Besides the shock I feel thinking about beginning the 20’s, I am genuinely looking forward to a happy new year and decade. Somehow, this new decade just feels different and invigorating. One could say that it’s just another day on a calendar, and yes, that would be correct. In my brain though, this new decade offers so much hope and promise. I’m ready to take on 2020.

Now is Your Time

It’s time to kick it into gear! If you ever thought about doing something new or different with your life, now is the time. Now is your time! Live out each day like there’s no tomorrow! If anyone questions you, you can blame it on 2020. It’s a “thing,” or I say we make it a “thing.” People make crazy ridiculous resolutions all the time, and nobody questions them. Now is the time to take those big goals and dreams of yours and make them a reality! So, if someone has any kind of negative reaction to your new found freedom to relentlessly pursue your deepest desires, just look them in the eyes and say, “It’s  2020, what are you doing with your life?” Then, smile and wait an appropriate amount of time before slowly walking away. Make sure you hold your head up extra high upon exit, just for dramatic affect.

A New Era and A New You

I’d love to hear about your goals and dreams for 2020 and the new decade. Please share in the comments below! Wishing you a very Happy New Year, a prosperous new decade, and most importantly, I wish you the Happiest New You! In this new era of your life, may God bless you with an abundance of joy, love and a whole lot of money in 2020!

Love ya!

 

 

Over the years, I have learned a lot about people around me – and what I have learned is not always that positive. Some people, no matter how good they have it, will find ways to look for the negative side of things and then blow it up and impose their viewpoint on others. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a new revelation for me. I have known and studied many people like this over the years, but when it hits close to home, being someone not too far removed from my immediate family, it still surprises me.

Look for the good in life

I just happen to have the opposite personality. I almost always look for the good in every situation. If something happens I don’t approve of or I disagree with, I either let it go and go on about my day or I try to voice my feelings in a non-condemning way and then move on with life. It is obvious that some people go through their day looking and waiting for something to latch onto that they can put a nasty spin on and then blast it out to anyone and everyone they can reach. Why?  I don’t understand it. I get it, but I still don’t understand it.

Misery loves company

I went to bed thinking about this last night and woke this morning with this idiom, “Misery loves company,” stuck in my head. Unfortunately, it is true that unhappy people like other people to be unhappy too. I suppose the opposite can be said about happy people as well. By nature, I am a happy person and I want other people to be happy too.

I choose a positive attitude

Admittedly, I am Pollyannaish (someone who seems always to be able to find something to be “glad” about no matter what circumstances arise – from the best-selling 1913 novel Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter), this does not mean I am naïve. I am fully aware there are many people in bad situations right now. I know there is a lot of sadness, death, destruction and devastation in the world – I know that. I also know that even at the lowest times, a negative attitude will only make things worse and a positive attitude can only help make things better or at the very least, tolerable. In my lifetime, I have been without a job, I have been at a point where I could barely feed and clothe my daughter and barely had a place to live. I have had a car repossessed, my electricity shut off, all my money taken, and at the very worst, I almost died in an incident that was caused by someone else’s carelessness which has forever changed the quality of my life – I have been there. In each situation, I had to make a choice to stay positive and find a way out of it, or be bitter and wallow around in the self-pity. I chose happiness. I continue to choose to look for the good. I choose to look for the lesson in each situation and grow and learn from it. I choose to help other people find happiness and I absolutely refuse to bring others down or associate with those that try to bring me down.

Take a look at yourself

If you are that person who is spiteful and imposes your anger and frustrations out on others, let me ask you – Why? What good is it doing you? Do you know it is making you look bad? Do you realize how shallow and petty you appear to others? Do you know that others feel sorry for you when you do mean and hurtful things? Do you know that you are creating your own misery? Do you know that you are alienating your family and friends? Ask yourself why you choose to be unhappy as well as impose your unhappiness on others, and then take a long hard look at yourself. Are things that bad in your world? Have you seen a third world country lately?  Maybe you should watch a Feed the Children commercials a few times. How about volunteering some of your time to work at a homeless shelter or public food kitchen? Get out of yourself and see that things are not all that bad in your own isolated bubble.

Things will always get better

No matter how bad it seems right now, things will ALWAYS get better. It is the natural cycle of life. We have difficult times and we have prosperous times. Each low has a high. I believe we must experience the lows so we can appreciate the highs. I enjoy the highs so much that I strive to find the high in every day. It is there – and always will be.

Appreciate the joy and accept the sadness

Please don’t be the Debbie Downer in your circle of family and friends. Be the ray of light that builds people up and gives them hope. Find peace and joy in every stage in your life. Appreciate the moments of joy and accept sadness and defeat as a natural part of life. Refrain from forcing ill will upon others.  Look for the good in every situation. Step away from the negative media and influences in your life and try reading something positive – and may I suggest you start with reading Pollyanna.

Occasionally, I have moments when I want to run away. It’s not that I want to pack everything up and go off the grid. When the urge to run comes up, I now realize that it is a feeling I get when I want to avoid something or someone. In my head, I feel like running away will make the uncomfortable feeling go away. Avoidance shows up in a few ways. For example, some people say that they feel like they want to simply sleep through it. I know the feeling well.

Running away is about control

For me, when the urge strikes to run away, it is usually about something that I cannot control. Learning that I cannot control everything has been a big chunk of my personal development journey. Accepting “what is” takes conscious effort. I admit that I sometimes feel weak when I step into acceptance. I used to feel like I was giving up or giving in. It felt natural to challenge everything.

Acceptance does not equal weak

Acceptance does not mean that I am weak. It only means that when the urge to run away or avoid a situation comes up, I now understand that when I face a situation for what it is, the faster I can move on. Looking back, I see where I wasted a lot of energy struggling to control situations that I could have let go. A lot of my self-worth was wrapped up in my need for control. When you really think about it, fighting something that is out of your control is a waste of precious energy. Focusing my energy on things that move me towards my goals is more empowering than wasting energy on that which is out of my control.

Self-awareness and practice

It takes self-awareness to identify the moments when I want to run away. When that feeling hits me, I take a deep breath, and I allow myself to feel what is coming up for me and why. If the situation is really out of my control, I let it go. It’s not like it magically disappears. I have learned to think about things in my life that make me happy or people that bring me joy. I remind myself that running towards something I want is a much better choice than running away from something I don’t want. Trust me, this takes practice. Lots and lots of practice, and I get to practice it a lot!

Your turn

It’s your turn – I’m always interested in how others  handle stressful, or shall I say, challenging situations. What tips are you willing to share in the comments below?

Focusing your energy on things that move you towards your goals is more empowering than wasting energy on that which is out of your control.

I’m determined to get a jump on holiday shopping this year, so, while I was surfing the web, aimlessly, I came across this adorable photo, and immediately I was reminded of a small stuffed elephant toy my daughter had when she was a little girl. No matter where we went, she constantly took little Ellie with her. I need to remember to find one like it for my granddaughter. It would make a fantastic Christmas present. I hope I don’t forget to get her one. Anyway, I know you didn’t click on my post to take a trip down memory lane with me about remembering to order a toy for my granddaughter.

Today, I have a challenge for you, so, let’s get started.

Below, you will see two lists, List A and List B, both of which contain the exact same items. Suppose you accept this challenge, which is to accomplish the tasks within one day. You can review each, but you cannot take either of them with you. You cannot snap a picture of them either. You must get started right away. The goal is to accomplish the items on the list by recalling them from memory. And no phoning a friend! Read List A and List B and decide which one you would choose to study the most before heading out on your day. While you do that, I need to remember to add the elephant to my shopping list, so I don’t forget to get it for my granddaughter in time for Christmas.

To-Do List for Today

  • List A
    Don’t forget to take your vitamins
    Don’t forget to take out the trash
    Don’t forget to put gas in the car
    Don’t forget to get milk
    Don’t forget to smile
    Don’t forget to say I love you
  • List B
    Remember to take your vitamins
    Remember to take out the trash
    Remember to put gas in the car
    Remember to get milk
    Remember to smile
    Remember to say I love you

Which list did you choose? I hope you decided on List B, and here’s why. When looking at List A, the brain resists negative words like Don’t. However, it will hone in – like a laser – on the word Forget. Whatever information that it is following Don’t (or Never) will be logged in your memory bank, such as, forget to take out the trash, forget to smile, forget to say I love you, and so on. Most importantly, you are setting yourself up for failure whenever the words Don’t or Never are used in this context.

By merely rephrasing to “remember,” like, remember to say I love you, and remember to smile, will increase your chances of retention and also the likelihood of accomplishing your goals substantially. It’s a mechanism signally your brain to take positive action – to always remember to do something. 

In the opening paragraph, I wrote that I need to remember – I also wrote that I hope that I don’t forget to order the pink elephant for my granddaughter. Did you pick up on how strange it looked when you first read it? I was purposely contradictory to prove a point. In the end, if we can always remember something instead of overusing don’t forget, we will get more done!

Next Steps

To sum things up, get into the practice of speaking and writing using affirmative or positive structure.  You will notice an increased level of retention and belief with notes like this,

  • Remember to kiss me goodnight.
  • Remember,  you are beautiful.

Please join me in my mission to eliminate the excessive use of “Don’t Forget” memes flooding social media! Or, at least, remember to share Always Remember memes instead! Here’s a popular meme that I wish would go away! 

Your Thoughts

Are you willing to switch things up and give Always Remember a try? Please share your comments below!

Always remember to put yourself first, then you can help others.

A wise old saying (maybe an airline)

Tweet

Here is a great meme I made for you to share with the world today!

Share today!
Pin It